Wall Within

One day I will crumble

The wall within

That keeps me from seeing

My own self worth

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Sadness, You Liar

Pain inside, please sleep.

Let me have something happy,

Stop killing my dreams.

 

Within I’m empty,

Or so to me it would seem.

I think I’m nothing.

 

Thief of joy. Liar.

The world is a shining place,

Where I do belong.

 

But where do I fit?

I have not found that space yet,

My sense of self, lost.

 

Your shade follows me.

You are wicked, and evil.

Get out of my sun,

 

I deserve to shine,

And I am worthy of love.

I’m not what you say,

 

I do have a place,

You trickster. I’m not empty,

I am full of me.

 

 

 

My One Shining Joy

Sadness ties my belly in knots.

Thoughts unbidden intertwine with that nothingness,

And the emptiness inside, it becomes

A widening gap in my life,

Isolating me within a great pain,

Indescribable, and not so easily understood.

I become dark of mind then,

Contemplating some end, a quick exit.

 

And then I remember your laughter,

Eyes like crescents, when you smile,

A Gods fingerprint upon your forehead,

Hiding in hair of my colour.

Soft footsteps whispering upon the carpet,

You slip beside me beneath covers,

We share a pillow, arms encircling,

I feel you breathe, little bedfellow.

 

Am I so selfish, and cruel,

That I could imagine leaving you?

Is this world so very savage,

That I can’t find the strength

To remain, and care for you?

To leave would be so evil.

 

You are what I’ve done right,

My one shining piece of joy,

My face in miniature, my love,

The best thing that I’ve done.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Is My Voodoo Working?

I figured out how to do this really cool thing, and I feel I have to talk about it because I am bursting with joy about my new self discovery.

It all started about a week or so ago. I was really stoned, and extremely horny. Weed makes me horny, so horny it feels like my clitoris is going to burst open with confetti made of orgasms.

I like a good tease personally, it really turns me, so it goes without saying that I tease myself a lot. I do this by gently manipulating my nipples until I get that, ‘omgs I’m gonna pop” sensation all over my pussy, and then I have to masturbate, and I do so furiously, and sometimes it happens several times a day.

I hold my breath too. I don’t know when I figured this out, but I was pretty young when I learned that holding my breath increases my arousal and make me cum really super fucking hard several times over.

I can have multiple orgasms, but only when I’m stoned, and only when I masturbate.

Can anyone else relate to this?

One day, like I said, about a week ago, I was majorly stoned, and horny, listening to PJ Harvey. I love to get stoned and jack off to this woman’s voice, she makes me feel very sexual.

Now you must know, I get some nutty ideas when I’m stoned, and I just decided to hold my breath, and gently tease my nipples, and it brought me to this new place within my own sexual arousal that I had never been before, so I kept holding my breath at intervals, and stroking my nipples, and then it happened. I had an orgasm without touching my clitoris once. And what’s more, I did it over and over again, and then I went to town on myself, I mean, I masturbated HARD, and I came AGAIN!

Holy shit. I had no idea that this was possible, and I really must know if any other women can do this amazing thing, and I want to know if anyone would like to witness it…you know…have sex with me.

Woman or man, let’s do this. I feel I must share what is truly amazing about me; my pussy.

I really want for a man to just hang out in me for a minute while I play my nipple game with myself, and feel it happening, but mostly, I want to know if I can do this with another person.

NSA.

I’m ready. Ready to share my looong snake moan.

And I laugh hysterically after I cum too.

Be warned though, that I am not pretty naked, in fact, I’m down right ugly.

I’m a little bit fat, and I don’t shave very often.

I’m a hairy un-groomed woman covered in scars, especially my legs because I like to cut on myself, and burn myself with cigarettes, and I don’t have an anus because of cancer, and I shit in a bag.

Some of you have seen pictures of my scars and shit bag.

Beautifully deliciously frightening pictures of the horror that is what I have to live in, and with.

I have a fucked up magical cooter, and I want to share it with the world.

I have borderline personality disorder too, which means there’s always a surprise waiting for you, and doesn’t everyone just fucking love surprises?